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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28984164">the four chambers of the heart</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/erythea/pseuds/erythea'>erythea</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fate/Grand Order</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Character Study, F/M, Gen, Lanling Wang-centric, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 09:15:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,985</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28984164</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/erythea/pseuds/erythea</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“I understand well that love, desire, affection and admiration are all different things.”</p><p>Four short stories about Lanling Wang.</p><p>1. desire - bartholomew roberts wants something from the prince.<br/>2. love - diarmuid tells lanling wang about grainne and a certain king.<br/>3. admiration - yu meiren and lanling wang talk about what he wants. later, he spars with someone ritsuka is surprised to see.<br/>4. affection - lanling wang makes dolls with minamoto no raikou and the children.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Diarmuid Ua Duibhne | Lancer/Artoria Pendragon | Saber</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. desire</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Commission for <a href="https://twitter.com/meganakamomo">Momo</a>. She asked for a character study on Lanling Wang based on this exchange between [SUMMER CAMP SPOILERS] Xu Fu and Lanling Wang (English translation by me):</p><blockquote>
  <p>Xu Fu: Who are you calling a beast, you imbecile! Have you been looking upon Lady Yu with such lecherous eyes, you secret pervert?!</p>
  <p>Lanling Wang: Not particularly, no. I understand well that love, desire, affection and admiration are all different things.</p>
</blockquote>It should only follow that this would be a set of four stories. It should also follow that I am unable to go below the word count...<p>This is a work in progress!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Pirates were not a problem in his time, but Gao Changgong has grown familiar with the way Bartholomew Roberts carries himself about the halls of the Wandering Sea, gait dignified and chin held high. He was a king among pirates, a thief among thieves, and not a single Servant of the sea could deny his capabilities. But among his many strengths are several stark flaws that even the patient Gao Changgong finds impossible to ignore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>First, there’s the thievery: a vice most inexcusable when done in greed. Stealing bread is one thing, but there is no good found in blood spilt for gold. In battle, Bartholomew walks among them with bejeweled rings and a golden cross studded with diamonds. Gao Changgong looks away from the audacity every time. A prince could never covet anything. Not his wealth, not a person — not even the dragon throne.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Next would be the debauchery.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s this?” Bartholomew exclaims in a voice smooth like velvet — a talent he’s mastered when he speaks of matters that are anything but. He struts across the hallway to meet Gao Changgong. “The Prince of Lanling with neither consort nor companion! A happy accident, I must say.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“An accident, indeed,” says Gao Changgong flatly, unconvinced by the pirate’s jocular grin. “Good afternoon, Sir Bartholomew. I assume you’re finished with today’s missions.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why yes, of course! A gentleman never rests until his work is finished. And now that his work is finished, he is free to seek his reward.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gao Changgong disapproves of many things about Bartholomew, but that doesn’t mean he hates him. He tries to be helpful. “If you're looking for Master Ritsuka, I believe she’s in the control room with Director Goredolf. Would you like me to take you there?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, that is so gracious of you, Your Highness—” Bartholomew takes Gao Changgong by the hand. “So thoughtful, so kind, and so…” He purrs against Changgong’s knuckles. “Very attractive.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bartholomew’s grip doesn’t give the prince time to pull back. He presses his lips to the back of Gao Changgong’s palm, and the prince yelps. It’s only after Bartholomew pulls away that he lets go, giving the prince’s hand an apologetic pat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d love to take you up on that offer, but I must respectfully decline! I’m sure that Mash Kyrielight is with her, but— Ah, how do I say this… I’ve suffered too many Command Spells in a day to give chase. In any case, Ritsuka doesn’t have what I seek.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ritsuka’s hair doesn’t cover her eyes the way Bartholomew is so fond of, so Gao Changgong understands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Or at least he thinks he understands until Bartholomew leans in, hands on his hips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um, do you need anything?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, no. It’s not about what I </span><em><span>need</span></em><span>, my prince. To speak of a want as a need is so unrefined. It makes us sound so desperate! Though I suppose wanting anything is how I survived at all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gao Changgong presses his lips into a line. People beyond the palace walls wanted to live. He wanted to help them. In a world where princes and emperors cared for nothing but power, someone had to. But he wanted to live, too. The Gao family was ruined by desire, killed by it. In the end, Gao Changgong was no exception.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Scriptures from India say letting go of one's desires will lead one to enlightenment, or at least, freedom and a sense of peace. He is not religious, but he wants to believe, so he embodies it all: generosity, kindness, and—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, he tries to be understanding.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it you were wanting, then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bartholomew smiles. “That would be you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Changgong chokes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>People often wanted to take his life or have his heart, but this only ever happened after he took the mask off. Bartholomew’s answer is peculiar.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I beg your pardon?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The pirate claps his hands together and swoons.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Your mask covers not your eyes, but how intriguing it is that you hide your beauty from the world! There must be a good reason for it, no? To uncover a hidden gem that no other has ever seen: that is what I always set out to do. And today, I shall do it again!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In other words, you're here to court me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wish to soften your heart, yes. I'm very single.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gao Changgong starts walking the other direction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Please, my prince!" Bartholomew catches up, his facade chipping away to reveal his desperation. "I only ask for one night!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You're not going to elaborate on that night's agenda, are you?” The prince walks faster, ignoring the burning sensation in his ears. “Please don’t call me your prince. It's embarrassing…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bartholomew doesn't give up. “Not a problem! I can call you whatever you like.” He walks faster, backward even, as he attempts to enter Gao Changgong's line of vision. "How about ‘my liege’? ‘Your Highness’? ‘My precious jewel’?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gao Changgong winces. “Lanling Wang will do. With all due respect, Sir Bartholomew, I'm truly not interested.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could never understand men full of arrogance and greed. Those of the Gao family were always forceful when they knew they could be. In politics, in love—if that could be called love.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At the very least, Bartholomew seemed to have a more considerate, ethical, and intelligent plan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gao Changgong comes to an abrupt stop, sighs, and gives in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If my face is all you'd like to see, I'd be more than happy to take my mask off for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bartholomew’s eyes sparkle like ocean waves under the tropical sun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For me? Just me? Ah, then I think I will love you all the more! A treasure is most exciting to own once it's mine and mine alone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gao Changgong frowns deeply. People are always like this, speaking of him as if he were a piece to move around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm not anyone's jewel…” Yet saying that makes his ears burn even brighter. “Will you stop following me if I remove my mask?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bartholomew rubs his chin with a gloved hand as he thinks about this very seriously. In fact, Gao Changgong thinks it is the most serious he’s ever seen him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm… Now that you mention it, I can't say a maskless prince is very arousing to me. The journey is half the treasure. If you take off your mask, that serves me no good. It won’t do any good for you, either. I prefer to add more flair whenever I make my entrance, but being the center of attention is not quite your style. You will then belong to everybody. A very troublesome situation, no?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The words pull Gao Changgong’s lips into a bitter smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hah. You are not wrong in saying so.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For he has always belonged to everyone. That was a prince's duty. His sword belonged to the emperor. His heart belonged to the people. They want what he has, but they never see who he is. They want to find his flaws, his soft spots. The slightest shred of honesty would spell his end.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Bartholomew goads him in a way he can’t refuse.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gao Changgong takes off his mask, consequences be damned, and meets Bartholomew's eyes with a gaze as blue as the clear sky.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wh— You’re doing that now? Out here!? Wait, at least let me bring you to my room— No, no, no, no—!” Bartholomew flusters, despairs, and accepts defeat. He falls to his knees. “Oh, damn it all! Your handsome face ruined the magic.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bartholomew’s agony stirs up a feeling Gao Changgong is almost ashamed of, and he quells the pride in his chest with subdued joy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Haha. You’re an interesting one, Sir Bartholomew. I must admit it's been a while since I've seen someone else so brazen in expressing their desires.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well!” Bartholomew rises to his feet in the coolest way possible to retain a semblance of dignity. “I’ve gone and said all that about refinement, but in the end, what is the point of hiding it? My friend, I am but a pirate. As humble a profession as it is, I will have everything I want in the palm of my hands soon enough.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The prince hums in mild disapproval. Nevertheless, Bartholomew continues.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You, on the other hand, are a prince. And yet I never hear of your possessions! Not this Lanling, nor this kingdom, nor any love. I suppose that would make you the most charming of Prince Charmings, but personally, philosophically, and economically, I find that so boring. You're boring, my prince.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gao Changgong nearly trips over himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Boring?!” he sputters.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, boring.” Bartholomew sighs. “So utterly, mind-numbingly boring. If you’re going to be this boring, you could at least grow your bangs a little longer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will do no such thing!” Gao Changgong exclaims. “Surely I’m not that dull. I have my hobbies. I like, um… taking care of horses! And reading. Singing, too. And…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bartholomew bursts into laughter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is so funny about singing?” The prince scowls, but it looks nothing more than an indignant pout. “Even you are fond of sea shanties! …I don’t know any, but Master has been rather fond of them lately.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hahaha, don’t mind me, dear prince. Even without your mask, you endear yourself to me. I consider that a feat. Come to think of it, your bangs look quite nice when they fall between your eyes…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gao Changgong pushes his bangs up at record-breaking speeds.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alas!” Bartholomew exclaims. “Perhaps I’ll try another day. I won’t say this expedition was without merit, though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like buried treasure, and I like what I’ve found. I feel as if I’ve discovered another side of you. You were already beautiful, but now you are so much more. Tear down those walls, break out of your shell, and I’m sure what you want will come to you, too. That is the charm of a jewel, after all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What I want?” Gao Changgong furrows his brows. What does Bartholomew know about that? “I can’t say that I want anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you can. Isn’t that what this second life is for? We can all afford to be a little selfish. Hahahaha!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bartholomew laughs from his chest, and Gao Changgong can’t remember the last time he did the same.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before Gao Changgong can dwell on those words any further, Da Vinci’s voice interrupts his thoughts through the speakers as it resounds across the hall: “Bartholomew Roberts, Bartholomew Roberts. Please stop hitting on the Servants and kindly report to the control room.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It appears that a gentleman’s work is never done.” The Rider takes off his feathered hat and bows as he prepares to part ways. “I must leave, but don’t miss me too much. And please don’t fret, Your Highness. Once you wear your mask again, my desire for you shall overflow once more!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span><em><span>I refuse.</span></em><span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh!” Bartholomew feigns a shot through the heart and stumbles. “I will have you yet, Prince of Lanling. And if I can’t have you, well, it's no reason for sorrow or tears. There’s a whole world of treasure waiting for me out there — in the sevens seas and beyond!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As the pirate leaves for the control room before Ritsuka can deck him in the least nautical sense of the word, Gao Changgong watches his broad back and wonders if it is good to have the wind in his hair, the ocean breeze in his lungs, and the urge to want something and take it.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I couldn't say no."</p><p>After a long spar within the bamboo thickets rendered by Chaldea’s simulator, Diarmuid tells Gao Changgong what happened on that fateful day. He recounts the wedding feast, the rustling of forest leaves under their feet, and Fionn's eyes aflame with rightful fury. A life and death not befitting a knight, but one humanity would remember throughout the ages. Stories are told when they tell of glory or tragedy, but Gao Changgong finds stories of heroes are often both.</p><p>He pours them tea.</p><p>"She placed a geis on you," Gao Changgong points out. "Of course you couldn't have."</p><p>"I was weak enough to let her. That is my true curse, Prince of Lanling." When Diarmuid speaks with a rueful smile, Gao Changgong understands why they say he is beautiful in body and soul. The warrior would never let anyone take the blame.</p><p>“That’s hardly fair to you.” Gao Changgong frowns. In all his years within the suffocating palace walls, he was never placed under a spell so binding. The only word that ever chained him down was the emperor's. The emperor had the mandate of heaven, and Gao Changgong was destined to follow it.</p><p>But destiny has always been malleable. At least Gao Changgong had a choice.</p><p>Diarmuid takes the cup in his hands, unfamiliar with its shape, and blows on his tea.</p><p>“You give me too much credit. I tell you this because you’re familiar with things beyond your control.”</p><p>Diarmuid, too, is familiar with the misfortunes duty and beauty bring. Gao Changgong has seen it all. His people praised him. His family feared him. No one ever thought he was weak — least of all himself.</p><p>But talking with Diarmuid makes him think.</p><p>"Perhaps I could have refused sooner.” Diarmuid closes his eyes and remembers her face. “But even I can't deny that it was beautiful."</p><p>"The curse?"</p><p>Diarmuid smiles like sunlight filtering through the trees.</p><p>"Grainne’s spirit.”</p><p>Gao Changgong envies him. He at least loved someone. Gao Changgong loved the people, but there was not a single human he could show his face. He could deem no one special.</p><p>Perhaps that was his true curse.</p><p>“There are few things more beautiful in this world than a heart on fire,” Diarmuid says.</p><p>Gao Changgong takes a sip of tea. He understands. With a heart for Xiang Yu lasting for millennia, Yu Meiren is always beautiful. He envies her.</p><p>“What about the King of Knights?” he asks.</p><p>Diarmuid startles. “What about the King of Knights, Your Highness?”</p><p>“There’s not a day you don’t mention her.” And he never speaks of Grainne. Gao Changgong wonders where the differences lie.</p><p>"The King of Knights is the warrior I yearn to be. I wish to battle her over and over. Only when our swords clash do I feel that I am truly free."</p><p>Freedom: something that doesn't pin you down, something that puts your heart at ease.</p><p>Knowing what Diarmuid truly means, Gao Changgong can't help but tease.</p><p>"Is she also beautiful?"</p><p>"O-of course! What else would she be?" Diarmuid sputters, cheeks pink, and suddenly everything is crystal clear.</p><p>When they leave the simulation room after they finish their tea, a blonde woman greets them in the hallway, dignified and sincere.</p><p>"Sir Diarmuid, Prince of Lanling. Good afternoon."</p><p>"King of Knights!"</p><p>For the first time, Gao Changgong sees that Diarmuid is unsure how to stand or where to put his hands. He is so used to seeing them occupied with his blades that he's never imagined him otherwise. Diarmuid has a hand raised in greeting, though it seems that he's deemed it too familiar and improper, for he soon lowers and closes it into a reluctant fist. Then, he realizes what Artoria must be here for, and he salvages the moment with a gesture toward the simulation room.</p><p>"Did you perhaps want to—"</p><p>"No," Artoria answers immediately with a raised hand. "I was told that you were here, so I came to watch your battle. However, it appears that my arrival was not swift enough."</p><p>"My apologies. If Your Majesty would permit it, I'd be happy to spar with you," Diarmuid offers.</p><p>"No," she answers again, this time with a pause and a smile. "Being able to exchange words with you is already a miracle. Seeing you full of life like this, I am quite satisfied already."</p><p>The warrior's lips part, and so do Gao Changgong's.</p><p>"Well, I won't keep you any longer," Gao Changgong says in a chipper tone. "Yu Meiren asked me to assist her with her training."</p><p>"What a pleasant coincidence." Artoria tilts her head toward the cafeteria. "You will join me for tea, won't you, Sir Diarmuid?"</p><p>And though he's had his tea, Diarmuid truly couldn't say no.</p><p>As Artoria walks away, Diarmuid closely follows. Gao Changgong watches the two knights converse like old friends, but part of him knows he is bearing witness to the blossoming of a feeling either knight has yet to name.</p><p>He admires it.</p><p>He thinks he envies it, too.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I promise he will do more than quietly long for things in the next one.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. admiration</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Some quick notes!</p><p>Yecheng: Capital of the Northern Qi dynasty.</p><p>Pan An: A handsome poet who lived during the Western Jin dynasty. His circumstances were somewhat similar to Lanling Wang's. He was said to be so beautiful, women would shower him with fruits. The capital during this time was Luoyang.</p><p>Lu Junyi: Yan Qing's master and adoptive father. If he was in Fate/ he'd be a Lancer.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"<em>Who</em> needs help with training?"</p><p>As far as personality is concerned, Yu Meiren certainly doesn't. Human interaction is the one thing she refuses to deal with properly, much to the dismay of Gao Changgong, but maybe that's what he finds so charming about her.</p><p>He can hardly say no to her either.</p><p>"I'm sorry…"</p><p>Gao Changgong lowers his head as they drink their cups of bubble tea by the glass paned hallway, watching the Nemos work below. Yu Meiren isn't cut out for menial tasks like those, at least that's what she says, but she does want company. Among all the Servants in Chaldea, she still finds Gao Changgong one of her most pleasant companions.</p><p>Needless to say, he enjoys her presence. There are few who can see through his mask — horns, jewels and all.</p><p>“I’m not mad. I’m just amazed." She observes the staff conduct their daily maintenance, Cu Chulainn shooting the breeze with Karna and Fionn, Hokusai sketching another self-conscious Yang Guifei — peaceful moments they've both grown accustomed to with time. "Look at us. It's been a while since we've been here, you know. All my wishes have been granted."</p><p>"You mean your efforts paid off," he says warmly.</p><p>Yu Meiren bites on her straw and furrows her brows. "I just followed the advice of some eccentric and ended up here somehow. Don't make it sound like everything I have now is because of what I did."</p><p>"But isn't it?" Gao Changgong chews on a few pearls. He'll have to learn how to make this drink for her someday. "Wasn't your journey long and tiring? You met Lord Xiang Yu in the end, too."</p><p>"Yeah, but—"</p><p>"So your journey had meaning. Besides, I don't think I'd be here if it weren't for you."</p><p>Yu Meiren, all blood and fangs, is suddenly weak.</p><p>"... Well, don't sell yourself short." She fidgets and clears her throat, reclaiming the usual bite in her tone. "It's not like Ritsuka summoned you because of me. And it's not like I summoned you because you were useful."</p><p>Or according to her calculations, as Xiang Yu would say.</p><p>"You deserve happiness, too." She throws her gaze across the room beyond the glass, where Amakusa escorts little Jeanne as they ask Professor Nemo about the sea. "I can't be the only one with a happy ending."</p><p>"I don't mind," Gao Changgong says, watching the same sight with a small smile. "I'm happy where I am. As long as I can serve Ritsuka to the end, I can't ask for anything more."</p><p>Yu Meiren gives him a long, hard stare.</p><p>"Liar. You're doing it again."</p><p>"Um… I beg your pardon?"</p><p>"You're telling yourself you're satisfied."</p><p>"But I am satisf—mmph."</p><p>She presses two fingers to his lips, exasperated more than anything.</p><p>"Stop, stop. The last time you said that, you ended up dead."</p><p>He winces. She's not wrong.</p><p>"What I'm saying is," she continues, "this isn't Yecheng. This is Chaldea. No one's going to kill you for being yourself."</p><p>In the end, that was his only crime. The only reason for his sorry excuse of an execution. In some ways, he's thankful for it. At least the poison was quick.</p><p>But it's nothing he's proud of.</p><p>"You could at least try to do something different. Look at me!" Yu Meiren pauses as she tries to think about what's changed in the last millennium. "I haven't eaten anyone yet."</p><p>It's not entirely correct, but Gao Changgong keeps mum about the matter.</p><p>"Hmm… Well, you're getting along with Mash, Ritsuka, and many other Servants. I'm very happy for you."</p><p>"Ughhh…" A flushed Yu Meiren makes a fist and threatens to hit him. They both know she won't. "Anyway! This isn't about me. Your problem is you worry too much. Stop caring about what other people think. I promise everything gets one thousand percent better from there! You don't have to ask Lord Xiang Yu to know that. If you want to go down the same road twice, you can go write your stupid poetry with Pan An!"</p><p>Yu Meiren is always funny. He likes it the most when she gets worked up. That's when her true colors show. Show your true self, and you'll shine like a jewel — maybe Bartholomew had some wisdom after all.</p><p>"I would like to meet him someday," Gao Changgong admits. "Perhaps he'd find Chaldea more preferable than Luoyang."</p><p>"You might want to invest in a fruit basket. Being beautiful sounds like such a pain."</p><p>He narrows his eyes at his friend. "Yu Meiren, I don't know if I want to hear that from you."</p><p>"Hah! Lord Xiang Yu now would never be so distracted by something so banal… I think." A thought crosses her mind, and her volume rises with the heat in her cheeks. "Again, not the point!"</p><p>He laughs. She truly is a jewel. "I'll try not to think too much. But to be frank, I don't know what to do beyond fighting for Ritsuka. I have too much freedom now."</p><p>"Isn't that what you wanted? Freedom."</p><p>Gao Changgong likes structure. He likes following standards. He follows so that he may lead others to victory. But when even victory is punished, even he can see the gaps in everything their ancestors built.</p><p>"I just wanted to breathe."</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>On another day in the simulator room, crimson metal clashes with azure steel. Arcs of light almost blinding move across the field as the two Servants fight at full force. As a Master who's done this for years, Ritsuka doesn't watch them with the same starry eyes, but she never tires of the sight.</p><p>"The Prince of Lanling's really going at it today, huh?" Ritsuka observes as she pokes her chin with the dull end of her pen. "He looks like he's enjoying himself, doesn't he?"</p><p>"He's breaking personal records today, senpai! But look at who he's fighting: even the young Li Shuwen can hold a handle to the Prince of Lanling at his full strength. It's a once-in-a-lifetime matchup!" Mash remarks, which another Servant answers with a hearty laugh.</p><p>"Has my younger self gotten that good? Already?" Standing beside them, the older Li Shuwen doesn't hide his amusement. "No, Mash. The footwork of Bajiquan is far more linear. Look."</p><p>Gao Changgong's opponent weaves through the prince's defenses like a breeze through the forest, each clash of their blades creating stars in their wake. It is only when Gao Changgong parries and his opponent blocks that all can see the lancer's face, his eyes like jade.</p><p>"Yan Qing!?" Ritsuka's eyes widen, nearly dropping her pen as she leans against the glass pane. "He really can do anything!"</p><p>"Of course!" Mash exclaims. "Yan Qing trained under the Jade Qilin himself, Lu Junyi! It's no wonder he's good with a spear."</p><p>"Taking after his father, that one." Li Shuwen nods, chuckling to himself. "Don't tell him I said that. He'll deny it to the end. Even at his prime, the founder of Yanqingquan is a child."</p><p>"Sabers like Artoria can beat Cu in a fight, but how come Yan Qing had the upper hand against the Prince of Lanling a while ago?" Ritsuka asks him, ready to take down notes.</p><p>"The jian is a small, double-edged sword. It is often ornamental and takes a longer time to master, so the spear is the preferred weapon of war. The spear's power and longer reach put it at a great advantage against the sword. They say Bajiquan also has its foundations in spear techniques."</p><p>"But the sword is still harder to use, right? I have a lot of respect for Lanlan now." Ritsuka nods to herself and writes a note to buy more snacks for him later.</p><p>Mash sighs in exasperated confusion. "She has so much respect for him, she gave him a nickname..."</p><p>"They're Lanlan and Shinshin! It's cute that they match, right? Mm, but if swords should be weak against spears, why is Prince of Lanling winning against Yan Qing?" Ritsuka asks the older Li.</p><p>"Well, they say Assassins are the weakest Servants."</p><p>"Hey!" Ritsuka takes full offense and waves her pen. "Don't call yourself weak! Yan Qing's not weak, either."</p><p>"Hahaha. I know, I know," he says as if to appease a grandchild. "As for why the prince is winning… It's all a matter of experience, Master. The Yan Qing I read in those stories spent only a few years as an outlaw, and the rest of them as a civilian, too deep into the capital or too far into the country to know strife. The Prince of Lanling, on the other hand, has never been a stranger to death or war. Whose song is it we hear when we march into battle?"</p><p>Yan Qing clenches his teeth and pushes back, but Gao Changgong's assault is relentless. His strikes are faster, the rhythm reaching a rapid pace the Assassin struggles to match with his spear. One cut slices a lock of hair clean. Another nearly grazes against his cheek. Yan Qing soon slips and gives way, and before he knows it, he finds the sharp tip of Gao Changgong's sword cool as ice against his bare neck.</p><p>The round is over.</p><p>When both Servants meet Ritsuka's eyes, she waves at them with both arms, both pen and clipboard in hand, and the two laugh as they make their way back out.</p><p>"Well, that was fun!" Yan Qing tosses the spear back to Li Shuwen, who catches it with no problems, and takes a towel from Ritsuka first. He always makes sure he is first. Gao Changgong does well to take note of this. One wrong move could spell another conflict, and the prince is too tired to deal with another.</p><p>"Watching heroes fight is always a pleasure," says Li Shuwen, "but I can't say the same about cleaning up after them."</p><p>He threatens to jab the air next to Yan Qing with the spear.</p><p>"Cut me some slack, old man. Princey did most of the damage." Yan Qing lifts a lock of hair near his face to inspect it, the ends chopped at an awkward angle from the fight. "Damn. Could've been worse."</p><p>Could have been his face. Yan Qing is always particular about his face. Gao Changgong has taken note of this, too. </p><p>"My apologies." The prince sheaths his sword as he meets with everyone. "Yan Qing said I shouldn't hold back, so I took his words to heart…"</p><p>Yan Qing grins and waves it off. "Haha, it's cool. Don't sweat it! Hmm, but I wonder who can do my hair around here."</p><p>"Don't let Jack and Rhyme hear you," Ritsuka gives Gao Changgong a towel. "Good work, you two!"</p><p>"Thank you, Ritsuka." Without thinking, Gao Changgong lifts his mask to wipe his face and places it on the table. "I wanted to test my limits today, but I didn't know Yan Qing would be so talented with a spear."</p><p>"Right? Me too! I thought both of you were amazing."</p><p>Yan Qing preens. "Aw, you two are making me blush. I'm just working with what I got! I should give myself a handicap more often. You know, to spice things up in the simulator."</p><p>"Will you start walking with weights around your legs?" Ritsuka asks excitedly like a puppy.</p><p>Yan Qing pulls the towel tight over the nape of his neck, more endeared by her enthusiasm than anything else. "Huh! Sure, but Blackbeard and Okki keep asking me the same question. Is this one of those meme things?"</p><p>Gao Changgong shakes his head in sympathy. "The joke is lost on me as well. To paraphrase Lady Suzuka, I'm afraid we're simply too normcore to understand, Yan Qing."</p><p>Yan Qing squints. "Is that like nightcore?"</p><p>"Why do you know about nightcore?" Ritsuka asks, now with newfound curiosity and fear.</p><p>"I'm experimenting with a new sound," Yan Qing says with the confidence of an underground rapper. "Don't worry about it, Master! My first song will be about you."</p><p>Giggles bubble from Ritsuka's mouth, though she's not sure why. "What? Well, I'm flattered…"</p><p>Yan Qing is greedy too, Gao Changgong thinks. He disregards the line between Master and Servant too often, and he often wants far too much. Gao Changgong determines it best to avoid him.</p><p>But it's difficult.</p><p>"Hey, Princey! You were great back there."</p><p>The ruffian stretches out a fist toward Gao Changgong, his smile all perfect teeth.</p><p>"Me?" Gao Changgong is genuinely surprised. Unsure of what to do, he takes Yan Qing's fist in his hand and gives it a tentative shake. For some reason, Yan Qing purses his lips and puffs his cheeks up. The prince is also not sure why he does this, but he soldiers on. "Thank you, I… Oh, well, no. I clearly had the advantage to begin with—"</p><p>"Don't be so humble, Your Highness," chides Li Shuwen. "If you're able to hold your ground against the founder of Yanqingquan with the gentleman of weapons, that already speaks volumes of your skill." He smirks. "The Skillful Star isn't known for his mercy, you know?"</p><p>"Hey!" Yan Qing snaps. "I can be nice. I'm nice to Ritsuka all the time."</p><p>Ritsuka narrows her eyes at Yan Qing as he swerves around to avoid any guilt.</p><p>"And weeeell, Princey did have a lot of time to polish his swordplay in the palace, but he was also trying to not get killed, so whatever. I'll be real: you did better than all those other times we fought here, Your Maskedness. It's your win."</p><p>His victory. Gao Changgong furrows his brows. What do the people of Chaldea have to gain by praising him? Is he overthinking it? He hopes that Yan Qing isn't the type to hold a grudge.</p><p>"Perhaps we should have a proper spar next time. You and I, playing our strengths." Then perhaps Yan Qing will win, and Gao Changgong's heart will be at ease.</p><p>"What, are you a battle maniac now, too? Damn, this place is full of 'em. Oh well, more for me! Hahahaha!"</p><p>"Please don't misunderstand. I'm not fond of violence…" Not in the way Yan Qing or Li Shuwen are. "I only wish to keep my blade sharp for the battles ahead."</p><p>Yan Qing shrugs. Ritsuka tugs on Gao Changgong's sleeve — she has something to say.</p><p>"Lanling Wang, Lanling Wang, Li Shuwen taught me all about spears and swords today! I thought most Sabers just fired laser beams, but you're actually pretty cool yourself, aren't you!"</p><p>Gao Changgong opens his mouth, but it takes a while for the words to come out. "Wa… Was I not cool before, Master?"</p><p>She pokes her cheek with her pen.</p><p>"Hmm… You're more cute than cool," says Ritsuka.</p><p>"I think so too, senpai," says Mash.</p><p>"Me three!" says Yan Qing.</p><p>"Then I must also learn how to fire a beam," Gao Changgong decides with utmost seriousness, and the room bursts into laughter.</p><p>"You're gonna charm the whole room like that, Princey!"</p><p>Charm? That never happens unless...</p><p>"Oh no—" He touches his face, and he suddenly realizes the mistake he's made moments too late. "My mask! I'm sorry, I'll put it on right away—"</p><p>""Don't.""</p><p>Both Ritsuka and Yan Qing hold his wrist back before he can touch the table.</p><p>"Master? Yan Qing?"</p><p>Ritsuka is the first to let go of his wrist. “Uh, I won't stop you if it makes you comfortable! But…”</p><p>“Ain’t like you got enemies here.” Yan Qing releases Gao Changgong and gives the girl a fond smile. “Right, Ritsuka?”</p><p>She nods. “Chaldea’s working toward one goal. Me, Mash, and everyone who answered our call. Senpai told me you want to do that, too. And I trust you to, you know?”</p><p>Gao Changgong sighs. “So Yu Meiren spoke with you.”</p><p>“You were giving me a handicap a while ago, too." Yan Qing jerks a thumb at his mask. "Wouldn't be a fair fight if you put that on now.”</p><p>Gao Changgong turns away. "Yan Qing, I truly don't wish to fight you over anything."</p><p>He closes his eyes, bracing himself for the next outburst he can feel in his bones, and Yan Qing does the unexpected: he laughs.</p><p>"You don't have to, man. I just really look up to you."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"I said I look up to you. You get shit done by being yourself."</p><p>Mash tilts her head in curiosity. "Huh? But you're yourself now, aren't you, Yan Qing?"</p><p>Yan Qing wears a sweeter smile. "Well, of course I am, Mash! Why would Ritsuka deserve anything less?"</p><p>Yan Qing is a spy. He lies to get what he wants, but Gao Changgong can see the truth in his words.</p><p>"I don't understand. You detest royalty. I was certain you wanted to defeat me, if not fight me to the death."</p><p>Yan Qing snorts. "We're on the same side, dumbass. Why the hell would I kill you? Wouldn't have given myself a handicap if I did. I'd just reach out and break your... Uh, sword! Don't make that face, Ritsuka! Hahaha..."</p><p>"Prince of Lanling," says Li Shuwen. "You are a man who can do the most basic of calculations, but you're looking at the numbers too closely." He chuckles, he supposes, in the way grandfathers would: warmly, kindly, fondly. A son of the Gao family wouldn't know. "Come now. I made snacks for everyone."</p><p>"Yay, snacks!" Ritsuka and Mash say in unison.</p><p>"For real, old man?" Yan Qing turns to Gao Changgong. "C'mon, Your Highness. Can't let the girls beat us to it!"</p><p>The prince takes his mask in his hands and holds it close to his chest, never wearing it.</p><p>"Yes, I'm coming."</p><p>For the first time, he learns how to breathe.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. affection</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>But Gao Changgong never felt a mother’s love, so how can he know it? The nursemaids sang him lullabies in her stead, but it was not their duty to teach him how to live. He did not live. He willed himself to survive within palace walls built on blood and bones. Bones turn brittle when they burn, so his family taught him how to crumble under the heat of jealousy and rage, breaking into little fragments long after they took his life. They say love lasts forever, but all that was left after war was ash, and no Gao lived on in flesh or memory.</p><p>Sometimes he wonders what it must be like to be caught, no, held in someone’s arms. Sometimes he thinks he is too jaded, too old for the tales from his youth, spun from the clouds he was never allowed to reach.</p><p>But that doesn’t mean he isn’t curious.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>As Gao Changgong makes his way down the corridors of Chaldea, he finds an open door to a well-lit room decorated with tatami mats and lattice-frame dividers. He hears the humming of a nostalgic melody, so he peers into the room to find its source. In the center sits a beautiful woman with two children, all whom he recognizes as Ritsuka’s Servants. The melody flows like a river as the woman sews a magenta button onto the face of a doll.</p><p>“My, my, Mama!” exclaims one child, Nursery Rhyme. “I never knew you could make dolls. It’s so cute!”</p><p>Seated next to her is Jack, who nods with enthusiasm. “Yeah, it’s very cute! Mama Raikou is very pretty and knows how to do a lot of things.”</p><p>Minamoto no Raikou was indeed beautiful. Her straight black hair cascades down her shoulder in a long, low braid, evoking not the image of a battle-hardened warrior, but an immortal above the clouds painted with wisps of ink, her face concealed by mountain mist and unveiled by the light of dawn. Until his arrival at Chaldea, Gao Changgong knew no faces who could rival Yu Meiren’s. But that was unfair of him. Yu Meiren is the crimson beauty under the moon, a wildflower blooming only in the comfort of the night. Raikou is the dignified elegance of steel and lightning cutting through the darkness, leaving nothing but the faint scent of cherry blossoms in her wake. Looking at her now, it would be foolish to say that all beauty is the same. Of this, Gao Changgong is very aware.</p><p>But the Raikou in his mind is different from the Raikou before him. She chuckles into the back of her hand, the sound like the chirping of a swallow in the spring.</p><p>“That’s very sweet of you to say, Jack. It’s a mother’s job to make her children happy, so I learned how to make them with the red Archer’s help. I made dolls for Kintoki and dolls for Tsuna…” She ties up the end of her stitch and taps the tips of Jack’s and Rhyme's noses. “And dolls for cute girls <em> just - like - you!” </em></p><p>Raikou gives the doll in her hands to Nursery Rhyme and another doll from her side to Jack, both toys made in the girls’ likeness. Jack and Rhyme fall in love with them in an instant.</p><p>“Wow! She has frills and lace and buttons and braids!” Rhyme pats her pockets and pouts. “She is so pretty, but I’ve nothing to trade.”</p><p>Raikou lifts Rhyme’s chin, her smile as gentle as a cloud. “Don’t be silly, my dear. She’s a present — here.” Raikou places the doll in Rhyme’s arms and laughs again. “Oh, look at that! You made me rhyme again. You’re such a clever girl.”</p><p>Nursery Rhyme smiles like the stars.</p><p>"Will you teach us how to make dolls, Mama?" she asks.</p><p>"But of course, dear," Raikou replies.</p><p>“Mama,” says Jack, tugging on Raikou’s pinafore, “someone’s watching us.”</p><p>Raikou lifts her head toward the door, and Gao Changgong has never seen a smile so radiant.</p><p>“Is that you, Prince of Lanling? Please don’t be shy. Why don't you join us?”</p><p>Gao Changgong panics and looks away, unused to her sweet and friendly tone.</p><p>“My apologies!” he stammers, which isn’t very princely of him, but he can’t help it. He’d just committed a faux pas of some sort, he thinks. He swears he meant nothing untoward by watching her with the children, but he knows he shouldn’t look at anything for too long. It is rude, and he is still a prince. He is not in a place where he can favor anything. “I didn't mean to intrude, truly…”</p><p>Like a flower carved from stone, Raikou doesn’t falter in his presence. “It's all right. But wouldn't you rather sit with us than stand over there? It's awfully cold outside.”</p><p>“Come in, prince!” says Jack, beckoning him in with a knife in hand. “Let’s play! We’re playing a game that definitely doesn’t hurt, so don’t worry.”</p><p>Definitely worried but not wanting to disappoint, Gao Changgong steps inside, the heat in his cheeks glowing like a peach ripe for the picking.</p><p>“Hurray! A prince, a prince!” Nursery Rhyme claps and cheers as she takes the prince by the hand. She provides him a pillow seat and sits him in between herself and Jack. “You can sit here, prince. Wow, you're so handsome without your mask…  He's just like all those fairy tales, Mama Raikou!"</p><p>“Jack, no knives in the nursery. And Nursery Rhyme, you act like you've never seen a prince before. Why, Arjuna's also a prince! And he’s very handsome, too.”</p><p>“Arjuna keeps telling us to behave and pack our toys away.” Rhyme pouts. “I'm tired of him now.”</p><p>“But you should always pack your toys away after playing, my dear.” Raikou gingerly strokes Jack’s hair after she puts her own knives away. “Don't you agree, Your Highness?”</p><p>“Hm? Oh, yes. Certainly.”</p><p>Gao Changgong nods, distracted by his thoughts. He is on unfamiliar ground. Faced with no threat and armed with no mask, he tries to calm himself as he observes Raikou and the children.</p><p>“See?" says Raikou. "All good princes and princesses pack their toys away.”</p><p>“Hmph!” Nursery Rhyme crosses her arms, hugging her new doll all the while. “This new prince is a real charmer. I bet Mama Raikou and the Prince of Lanling are in cahoots.”</p><p>“What’s kuh-hoots?” Jack asks.</p><p>“It’s when people work together against the little people!” Nursery Rhyme exclaims.</p><p>Jack tightens her tiny fists and shakes them at the prince. “Hey! You can’t bully us because we’re little!”</p><p>“That was not my intent— Well, no, I just got here…” he says sheepishly as he tries to pacify them. Babysitting was not his forte. He wonders how his uncle did it. Yanzong was so fond of him. “Hahaha. Would you like to pack our toys away together, then?”</p><p>“You would do that with us, Prince Lanling?” Jack looks up at him with big, expectant eyes, and he can’t even bring himself to tell her that Lanling is not his name.</p><p>“Of course. One leads best by example.” Not only as a prince, but as an adult. Gao Changgong is one of the newer additions to Chaldea, but he supposes everyone should try to act like Jack’s role models. "Besides, we're all doing this together now, so it only makes sense that we clean up together afterward."</p><p>“Wow!" says Jack, "Rhyme, he’s even better than Shuten and Yan Qing!”</p><p>“Yeah!" Rhyme nods. "He's nice, he wears clothes, and he doesn’t smell like alcohol!”</p><p>Gao Changgong closes his eyes. “Something tells me I should speak with Yan Qing after this.”</p><p>“You’re not alone, Your Highness. Insects should well know their place.” Raikou’s tone is stern, but only for a moment. “Let’s set that matter aside for now. Are you busy, Prince of Lanling? Would you like to make dolls with us? Jack and Nursery Rhyme said they wanted to learn, and it would make them very happy to have another classmate.”</p><p>Gao Changgong lowers his head. “Sewing is not an activity I'm inclined to partake in, I’m afraid.”</p><p>"That makes sense," says Jack. "Yan Qing said you were more of a horse man."</p><p>Nursery Rhyme looks under the table. "Yan Qing is a liar."</p><p>Jack puffs her cheeks up. "Nuh uh! He says Yu Meiren is a horse girl, and I saw her with a horse so that's true. Also he says Prince Lanling was a horse man long before Yu Meiren was a horse girl."</p><p>Gao Changgong brings a hand to his head. "I truly need to speak with Yan Qing after this…"</p><p>"But you should sew with us first, Prince of Lanling." Nursery Rhyme gives him his share of materials. "I've always wanted to be classmates with a nice prince."</p><p>Well, Gao Changgong is certain he will prick his finger at some point, but he can't deny the wishes of a small girl if he can help it.</p><p>"Understood. If that is what you wish, Nursery Rhyme, I would be happy to comply."</p><p>"My!" Raikou brings a hand to her cheek. "That's very kind of you, Your Highness. Not even Kintoki will help his mother during times like these." She tuts, recalling the times he would forget to eat her meals or tell her when he'd come home. "That boy, always playing with his friends… But spending time with one's friends is important, too. I suppose that's why we're very lucky to have you."</p><p>His lips part, and he wonders when anyone last called his presence a blessing.</p><p>Raikou smiles. "Let's get started, shall we?"</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Gao Changgong soon learns that he isn't very good with his hands.</p><p>"Wow, her head is so big!" says Jack as he leans in to watch Gao Changgong work on his doll.</p><p>"Don't be like that, Jack!" chides Nursery Rhyme. "You don't know if it's a girl."</p><p>"Wow, their head is so big!" Jack corrects herself.</p><p>"Oh, children!" Raikou huffs. "You know better than to make fun of the prince's hard work. Your Highness, I'm deeply sorry—"</p><p>She then turns to Gao Changgong and has a mind to apologize, but to her surprise, he laughs.</p><p>"Your Highness?"</p><p>"It's all right, Lady Raikou," Gao Changgong assures him. He has always been envied for being perfect. Lagging behind, as frustrating as it can be, is a nice change of pace.</p><p>"This has been a refreshing experience so far. I quite like it. You're a wonderful teacher, and you have such wonderful students."</p><p>“Oh." She clears her throat and sits tall. "Rhyme was right. You <em> are </em> a charmer, aren't you? Your mother must have raised you well."</p><p>Gao Changgong fidgets. "I…"</p><p>Nursery Rhyme scowls. "<em> Mama, </em> you're making my prince uncomfortable."</p><p>"Oh! Oh my, did I?" Raikou's lip quivers. "I'm so sorry, Your Highness. You seemed like such a good son, so I thought…"</p><p>Gao Changgong raises a hand to pacify her. "Please don't worry about it, Lady Raikou," he says, "My mother passed away long before I could remember anything about her."</p><p>But Raikou shakes her head, and even her sorrow is graceful. "Even so. Knowing that such a beautiful person grew up without a mother… It makes Mother very sad."</p><p>"I had my father," Gao Changgong says, not quite convinced of it himself.</p><p>Raikou closes her eyes, quiet. "But not all fathers are so kind."</p><p>"Yeah," Jack nods. "We know."</p><p>Gao Changgong knows, too. He knows how fate can change in the blink of an eye according to how you live or die. He never asks himself what his father would do. His father, with all his vices, left him too soon.</p><p>Nursery Rhyme is the first to break the silence. "I can be your mama when we play house," she offers.</p><p>Gao chokes on his laughter.</p><p>"And who would be my father, Lady Rhyme?" he asks.</p><p>Nursery Rhyme thinks. "Hmm, Mandricardo?"</p><p>"Uh huh," says Jack. "Us and Abby get him to play house with us all the time."</p><p>"The King of Tatar sounds like a very kind person." Gao Changgong  doesn't know what fathers should be like either, but he looks forward to seeing Mandricardo, the antithesis of the Gao family, try.</p><p>"Nursery Rhyme would make an amazing mother," Raikou remarks. "Mother is a little jealous that she has such a lovely son. I should introduce him to Tsuna and Kintoki sometime. Hee hee.”</p><p>"I don't want Mama to be sad," says Nursery Rhyme, who gets up to fetch a sheet of paper. "Let me prepare the adoption papers."</p><p>"I'm being given away?!"</p><p>Gao Changgong wishes he knew how to handle children. It often feels more like they handle him. Then again, he supposes leaving his fate in the hands of a child is better than anything else.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>As they make dolls with Raikou, it occurs to Gao Changgong that he's never been treated like a child before. No one in the palace ever taught him or encouraged him — at least, no one with a name to uphold. Everyone had other children, other plans.</p><p>But Raikou only had one thing on her mind.</p><p>“Yes, just like that," she says as he closes a seam under her instruction. "You’re so good at this, Gao Su.”</p><p>Gao Changgong does a double take. “I beg your pardon?”</p><p>Gao Su.</p><p>Suddenly, he feels like he’s in the palace again, playing with his brothers long before power takes their innocence away.</p><p>Raikou places a hand on her chest, eyebrows creased in concern. “Hmm? What's the matter? Did I say something wrong?”</p><p>“No, it’s just… I haven’t heard that name in a long time.”</p><p>Raikou's lip quivers again, her eyes glassy as she takes him by the hand. “Did it make you feel uncomfortable? Please forgive Mama for not asking. You know I don’t mean to hurt you.”</p><p>Gao Changgong tries to pull away, but something in the way Nursery Rhyme glares at him tells him it's a bad idea.</p><p>“Don’t fret, Lady Raikou," he says. "If that is what pleases you, I truly don't mind...”</p><p>“And I truly don’t mean to impose, Your Highness." She leans in, her eyes gleaming with earnest sincerity. "As a Servant and general under Fujimaru Ritsuka, I am aware of my position. If you will permit it, I would like to be a mother as much as I can. But if it bothers you, I…”</p><p>Gao Changgong shakes his head and parts her hand. Hearing his name is the least of his worries, but he would be lying if he said he didn't feel something.</p><p>“I don’t mind at all. Not even Yu Meiren calls that name, but coming from a woman like you, nothing else would bring me greater joy. Your profile looks most peaceful when your gaze softens around the people closest to your heart. It is like a lotus above still water. I dare not disturb it.”</p><p>Raikou twiddles her thumbs, her cheeks as red as a peony. People are always like this when he speaks for some reason. "My! Well, I do try. Being a mother is the most wonderful thing. I'm so happy I get to be one."</p><p>"Were you not a mother back then, Lady Raikou?"</p><p>"No.” She does not elaborate, but the darkness in her eyes tells him she doesn’t need to. “But being a mother, oh… It's like a dream come true. The love of a mother saves more lives than any blade."</p><p>"I see," says Gao Changgong, his gaze low and distant as he ponders on what could have been.</p><p>But Raikou lifts his chin.</p><p>"We've only known each other a short while, but you make Mother very happy too, Your Highness.” Just like that, she looks immortal again, and he prays she doesn’t blind him with her light. “It is a mother's job to protect her children, so I'll protect you. That's a promise!"</p><p>Gao Changgong was a general feared by many armies. He didn't need protection.</p><p>Yet a new friend's declaration brings him more comfort than any shield.</p><p>"If you'll have me in the family, I suppose," he says with a chuckle.</p><p>Raikou giggles behind the back of her hand. "Yes, of course!"</p><p>"Mama Raikou, look!" Nursery Rhyme shoves past Gao Changgong to show Raikou her doll. He could almost swear it was out of spite. "I'm done!"</p><p>Nursery Rhyme's doll is that of a girl in her likeness, only differing in the sky blue color of her dress.</p><p>"Oh my, Nursery Rhyme!" Raikou exclaims. "That doll is beautiful. Beautiful like you."</p><p>She brings Nursery Rhyme close, pushes her bangs away, and plants a kiss on the girl's forehead.</p><p>"Mama, mama!" Jack slides her finished doll toward Raikou, a woman with green hair. "I'm done too!"</p><p>"You're so talented, Jack! And so very good." Raikou also presses a soft kiss on Jack's forehead.</p><p>After receiving their highly-sought praise, the girls giggle among themselves and start badgering the only student left.</p><p>"Hey, Your Highness! Show us your work."</p><p>"Mama! Prince Lanling won't show his work."</p><p>Jack and Rhyme push and pull as Gao Changgong shields his doll from plain sight. "No, please... It's embarrassing…"</p><p>"Now, now," says Raikou, gentle yet firm, "We don't have to force anyone to show their work if they don't want to. But, I wonder…" Once more, her lips tremble. "Does the prince dislike me that much?"</p><p>"Ah, Mama Raikou's crying."</p><p>"Bad prince! Bad, bad!"</p><p>Gao Changgong truly wishes he could handle children.</p><p>"I'm sorry!” He gives in. “I'll show my work right away!"</p><p>Fully aware that he doesn’t have a choice, Gao Changgong opens his arms to reveal his own doll: a haphazardly-stitched plush toy of a moon goddess.</p><p>"Wow! It's so cute!" says Jack.</p><p>"Is she your princess?" asks Nursery Rhyme.</p><p>"No, um… This is the goddess who makes my face light up."</p><p>That sounded better in his head.</p><p>"My!" Raikou's eyes light up. "Gao Su, this is amazing! You did a good job. We’ll have to thank this goddess for our prince’s good fortune now, won’t we?”</p><p>“If you like,” says Gao Changgong. His face has done more harm than good, but he won’t deny the advantage it gives him in battle.</p><p>“Mother likes it a lot. I'll give you a kiss!"</p><p>“Oh!” Upon hearing these words, Gao Changgong tenses up, raising his arms and bracing himself for the worst. “Please, that won't be necessar—ah.”</p><p>The kiss on his cheek is over before it begins, but Gao Changgong thinks he’ll feel it long after the day is over.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>They clean the room up together, just as Gao Changgong promised.</p><p>“Thanks for making dolls with us today, Prince Lanling!” says Jack, grinning from ear to ear.</p><p>“Yeah, I had a lot of fun!” says Nursery Rhyme, holding both her dolls tight.</p><p>“My apologies again,” says Gao Changgong, his hand on his cheek. “I didn't mean to intrude—”</p><p>“Oh, no, no, no, Gao Su.” Raikou places a hand on his shoulder. “You weren't intruding on anything at all. We loved having you here.”</p><p>“And you should come again!” say the children.</p><p>Raikou laughs, the melody still enchanting. “I think so too. In this case, it's best to say ‘thank you’.”</p><p>“Thank you.” Gao Changgong utters the words as if testing the sound on his tongue. As if he’d never thanked anybody before. As if he’d never gotten anything he wanted and was happy for it.</p><p>“Yes, that’s right,” Raikou says, ever patient.</p><p>“Thank you,” he repeats, bangs over his eyes as he hides the welling of tears in his eyes. “Thank you for your kindness.”</p><p>If love lasts forever, then Gao Changgong is certain the memory of Chaldea will stay with him until the end of time.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Follow me on <a href="twitter.com/erythean">Twitter</a>!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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